A new year, a fresh start.
Enter: Year 7 of secondary infertility. I am classified as secondary (and unexplained, btw) infertility. In the hierarchy of infertility I see myself as one of the lowly. I have a child. Period. There are so many who will never experience the joys of pregnancy. I did. I didn't plan it, but God was/IS in control and He planned it. He foresaw that in 2000 I would be given a child and that in 2002-2003 I would try again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again and AGAIN for another, to be denied. It's just the way His plan works. He doesn't consult me, doesn't take my cares, needs or wants into consideration--He works out His masterful plan in harmonious accord and only asks that I trust HIM to know what's best for me. How do you argue with God's logic? you don't.
So Jaecob received a Wii Fit Plus for Christmas, so I'm going to get some lbs off this frame and continue to try, naturally, by God's hand--because insurance doesn't cover infertility treatments or Assisted Reproductive Therapy. Viagra? Probably... another battle (and not for me).
As I enter 2010 I have my mustard seed around my wrist and I have faith that, if it be GOD's plan for my life, it will be. I do have faith and can trust that it will not happen until the time is proper. It's the patience I have a problem with.
You probably cannot tell from these posts, but my life is not all consumed with conceiving. I've had a lot of down time between football season and baseball season with Jaecob. I saw that registration will be starting in two weeks for baseball...whew... I NEVER thought I'd say I was looking forward to the distraction of baseball! But I am.