Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sleep in heavenly peace

CD1 (although last cycle was a BEAUTIFUL dip on 8DPO)
So it's back to the drawing board on TTC. Fertility Friend has 21 documented cycles for me, my serious stint in 2006-2007 and nothing and then 2009's try.

How do you not be mad? I know my Lord and Savior has a plan for my life, what in the world makes me think that I know any better than He? Why can I not find solice in His arms and with his plan? Why am I so discontent? Scriptures abound of the promises made for ME. Specifically me and how He has a plan for me (and for you too, do you know Him? Do you know His plan for you?) and my life, how he'll never foresake me.... You know all those reprimands (spankings too) that you received from your parents when you went against their wishes. They punished because they wanted to guide you in the right direction. Not that I believe God is punishing me by any stretch of imagination! I do know that HE knows my plan and it just might be that it does not include another child. It just might. I don't want to wallow in pity because that's POINTLESS and I do know THAT is not His plan for me. Rather, I request your prayers as I come to a peaceful state of mind if His answer to me is definitively "no."

At least this Christmas season I will find myself at a family Christmas party where no one is least not that I know of. Hmm...didn't think about anyone making an announcement. There's only one that I can think of who would even come close but I don't anticipate it. Oh well. No matter... peace, right?

1 comment:

Toni said...

I´m really sorry for you !